He held me in his hands, so close to him. His cologne caressed me as I breathed. I felt my heart speed up and miss every other beat, as we stood there. Standing still. So still. My head rested on his chest. I felt like I was dreaming. This was too good to be true. To be so close to the one I had fantasized about so many times about before. I knew I had to leave but yet I couldn’t bear to be away from that steady heartbeat, pounding away below my cheek. So rhythmic; soothing; calm. My arms stayed firmly around his waist, almost as if afraid that if I gave him that little extra room, he might leave me forever. I’d never let that happen. I had waited too long, too hard for this moment that I wouldn’t let it slip past.
"I’ll never let him go" I thought quietly. We were so close, who knew if he could read my mind? That snapshot moment was more than enough for me. I had to break it. Raising my head of his chest I looked into his face: the faced carved by angels. So perfect; breath-taking like an ocean breeze in the sunset. Untouchable, unmake able and unbreakable. From his smooth forehead to his thick, curved eyebrows, to his long, black eyelashes, right down to his defined, pink, full lips.
His lips.
How many times had I stared? Waiting for the moment I would taste them? Have his perfect smile on my mine? Have our mouths pressed together, locked in a kiss of deep passion from the deepest parts of our souls? Too many times. Too many times. He was perfect. The stuff of dreams. The kind of guy that girls broke their backs for. He was here... with me. Just me. Me alone. It must be a dream. I never want to wake up. I’ll stay here until there is nothing left. So close. So near. Even the folds in his eyelids made me want to fall and never want to get up. Slowly, almost sleepily, he opened his eyes and I stared into the windows of his soul. Dark, yet so clear. There was a light so bright it was almost impossible to be missed. His eyes glowed like stars in the night sky, fireflies at dusk, a guiding light in times of darkness. I knew I was at the right place at the right time.
I felt my face grow hot as I blushed. I put my head down. He had been staring into my eyes. Searching into them. Gazing as if they were the only things that mattered. In the wide world around us, my eyes were the only things he saw. His hand left my back and I panicked. He wasn’t leaving so soon was he? He wouldn’t leave me now? What was he doing? My mind raced and my heart mimicked it in triplicate. I now understood how people got heart attacks from fear. I almost cried out of relief when I found his hand on my chin. With his index finger coiled and poised under my chin, he lifted up my head. Eye to eye. Nose to nose. So close his breath was on my lips. Warm and soft. Playful and childlike. If I wasn’t staring into his open eyes, I could have sworn he was sleeping. I was trying so hard not to ruin the moment by moving for a kiss. I was never good at romance. He must have seen me for my pathetic inexperience because he smiled a small smile, as if he knew what mental torture I was going through. He had no idea. I could barely breathe. Being so close wasn’t good for me. I had to leave. He could never understand that. I wasn’t the one for him. Some other girl, with much more beauty, was his, not me, but my feet were cemented down. They were failing me now. Of all the times! Panic must have flashed in my eyes because fear flashed in his. Could he actually be scared that I would leave him? Did he really want me there? Couldn’t be. My imagination. What could he possibly want from me? A simple girl like me? Nothing. And yet here I was... and here he was. Here WE were together. Alone but together. I couldn’t breathe. Air was going in and out alright but I couldn’t feel it. I was too caught up in his essence. I had to go, but I had waited too long for this to happen. Just a little bit longer. My heart soared into the clouds when he bent his head towards mine.
This was it. THIS WAS IT! Finally! Everything I had ever dreamed was about to come true. This was real. Not a dream I would wake up from. Not a daydream that would disappear. This was me in the flesh with him in the flesh. All his glorious flesh. He was getting closer. Closer. O Lord! I could practically feel his lips on mine. I couldn't act out. Just wait. Watching his lips come towards me. I suddenly remembered the childish innocence we both had when he had first kissed me. We had both wanted it and like in Norbit after we had kissed we wiped our mouths in disgust. But it had been just as welcomed. That was years ago. Looking back now, it was evident I was headed in the wrong direction; wanting him so much in private and never dreaming it would happen. I should have acted sooner. Tilting my head up for the kiss was natural. It was only a matter of time till his lips touched mine...
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