Ok so although this post follows immediately after the last post, they both refer to an event that occured a week ago from today. These are the words that express my sentiments a week after the event.
It's been a week and I barely remember what you did. It was easy to let go and forget about you. Yesterday I wanted to pick up the phone and call you, but when I saw your picture, I couldn't. I had something I really wanted to tell you, but I wouldn't.
As I stared at your smiling face, it felt like I was looking at the past; something long gone that could never be regained.
I didn't smile.
To be honest, I wish I kept quiet because now I feel like a fool. My reaction would have been the same, and a week later I might still have been writing this, but not with this same feeling of being a victim. If no-one knew, I could act like the normal me.
But I am not a victim, not in the way people think.
I am a victim of stupidity; of thinking we could be normal; of hoping there was chance we had moved on; of believing you were over me the way I am over you.
I guess it's also my fault.
I shouldn't have come. Even though I told you what I wasn't there for, my presence led you on more than anything I could have ever said. In the cannabis-induced state with an alcohol-fuelled libido, I should have known that in 4days you would go over the edge.
It wouldn't have been the first time, now would it?
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